King Willie and The Commercial Appeal

I only took a cursory look
But I think they called Willie a crook.

Something about a bus station and a parcel of land
And a secret payoff of 91 grand.

Willie thought he was in the clear-high and dry
But he caught the attention of the FBI.

The Grand Jury has the case and from what I hear
An indictment may be relatively near.

All I know is what I read in the paper
But Willie is up to his eyeballs in the “Bus Station Caper”.

What happens next-will the Feds prevail
And send our mayor straight to jail?

Or will he beat the rap with his wit and guile
And face the cameras with his victory smile.

Your guess is as good as mine as far as that goes
So for now at least no one really knows..

The Memphis Mayor’s Race

As a politician A.C. Wharton is clever and cunning;
And he says there are way too many people running.

He doesn’t want anyone to get out but he made the case
That he’s not worried because of his voting base.

All he has to do is pull the trigger
And he’ll win because his base is bigger.

Now,Myron Lowery might say-hey I’m no stranger
So please don’t think you’re the Lone Ranger.

I can snap my finger and make a few notes
And-bingo-I’ve got 50,000 votes.

Plus who knows how many votes Jerry Lawler will bring
He’s not chopped liver- he is the King.

And several others are involved and it would be rare
If they,at least,didn’t get their share.

So,A.C. looks worried,at least to me
And if he’s not he darn well better be.

Allen Iverson – Yea or Nay

From what I read in the Commercial Appeal
Some Memphis Grizzlies are known to feel;

That signing Allen Iverson would provide some thrills
And help the ball club pay some bills.

They think he’d sell tickets and that he might do
But right here and now I’m telling you:

When the going gets tough he’ll take a hike
Plus he never met a shot he didn’t like.

So if you sign the guy you’ll get as an extra perk
A true malcontent and a big time jerk.

We already have Zach Randolph and all his stuff;
And I say one real thug is more than enough.

But if Michael Heisley signs him I want you to know
I’ll be` at the Forum yelling-Go A. I. Go..

Janis and Willie

Now that King Willie is on his way out the door
There are folks out there who want one more.

There is another bad apple they’d like to get;
But as of right now it’s not a dead sure bet.

There are people who think it would be really good
If Willie could take Janis back to the hood.

Ms. Fullilove is really in a pretty tight bind
And her legal troubles would boggle the mind.

She went of Face Book begging for money and such
But no one thinks she’ll get very much.

So Willie says he’s leaving but at the end of the day
Janis says she’s gonna go all out to stay.

So I don’t think the city has been had;
After all one out of two ain’t all that bad.

Fullilove Won’t Go Away

First of all here’s where I’m coming from
I say Janis Fullilove is terminally dumb.

She applied for a new license and it was really uncouth
Because,on the form, she told something other than the truth.

She said her license was lost and I wonder why
Because it was really confiscated in Mississippi for DUI.

So she lied to the state cops and they were so offended
They told her that her license had been suspended.

But Janis jumped in her car as though to say
You guys can’t touch me and she sped away.

But they can tough her and she’s gonna find
That her butt is really in one heck of a bind.

I don’t know how this will turn out months down the pike
But I have a feeling it’s something Janis won’t like.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: Zach Randolph – Yea or Nay

There are those who say and I know why
That Zach Randolph is not a real nice guy.

There are off-court issues that often re-appear
That cause some fans actually to recoil in fear.

They are afraid that Zach might actually use
Some words that are meant to insult or abuse.

While others may think he is God forsaken
For taking another drink he shouldn’t have taken

But some of his teammates say-I’d trust him with my PIN
Because all he ever wanted do do was win.

So Grizzlies fans lets drink thru the foam
And welcome good ‘ol Zack back home..

The Grizzlies Draft

Now that the draft is in the rear view mirror
The whole darn thing might be a little clearer.

We needed defense foremost and first
Because last season ours was the very worst.

We drafted this guy named Hasheem Thabeet;
And we hope he can turn up the defensive heat.

He’ll defend the paint,that’s what they say
So those penetrating guards will stay away.

And when their big guys get the ball like it or not
There will be Thabeet to make them alter their shot.

I wanted Rickey Rubio but after one quick glance
The kid from Spain never had a chance.

So we got Thabeet and two other guys
Ah, but here is a word to the wise.

The Grizzlies are under some sort of voodoo curse
We always hope for the best but expect the worse.