Ode To Larry Porter

Coach Porter is an old U of M Tiger so he surely knows
How to say the right thing and strike a defiant pose.

The new coach says he’s ready-good to go
And he knows there will be a tough row to hoe.

He’ll start with recruiting and this is true
He was named best in the country while at LSU.

Now, LSU and Memphis share the “Tigers” name
And that’s about all that remains the same.

When it comes to facilities-and this is a lock
The coach will suffer from culture shock.

Hey-let’s worry about that later- for now all that’s heard
Is Go Tigers Go and that’s almost the last word.

Coach,all the old Tigers wish you well;
And now let’s go out and give ’em hell….

Memphisport Live: 11.25.09

Lifelong friend of Elvis Presley and former WHBQ disc jockey George Klein stops in to talk with Kevin and JM about Memphis celebrities, Elvis’ favorite sports, and RC Johnson. Plus, substitute producer Chris Hrabe participates in his first ever MSL Yes or No Speed Round.

Kansas 57, Memphis 55

If you’d have listened to experts or read the sports pages
The game was billed as the mis-match of the ages.

For the #1 Jayhawks it would be an easy win
They were so good they could phone it in.

But Coach Josh said-hey,a word to the wise
If we do it right we can beat these guys.

Now,we’ve gotta hit ’em hard and play it smart
And that’s what they did right from the start.

In the first half the Tigers got in some licks
And after 20 minutes Kansas led by only 6.

In the second half we held the Jayhawks feet to the fire
And everyone knew it would go down to the wire.

It was Kansas by two with seconds to play
And the game winning shot was on the way.

Tiger fans collectively held their breath
While Jayhawks fans were scared half to death.

Yeah the Tigers lost and I don’t mean to be crass
But if we’d have played Kentucky-we’d have kicked their _____________.

Dennis Haskins on MSL

Dennis Haskins (aka Mr. Belding) celebrated his birthday by joining Kevin Cerrito and Jan Michael Hartelust to talk about his new CD, the Memphis airport, Saved by the Bell, and more.


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Memphisport Live: 11.18.09

Dennis Haskins (aka Mr. Belding) celebrates his birthday by joining Kevin and JM to talk about his new CD, the Memphis airport, and Saved by the Bell. Plus, the Yes or No Speed Round, Woohoo’s and Boo’s, and What you’ve been missing on MSNBC.

Ole Miss 42, Tennessee 17

If the only player the Rebels could muster
Was a kid by the name of Dexter McCluster,

He would have put Tennessee under the gun
And by himself,almost,got the job done.

He was incredible, this much is true
A veritable one man wrecking crew.

All afternoon the Vols wanted to know
Just which way did Dexter go.

He ran the ball with style, he ran the ball with class
And when he wasn’t running he was catching a pass.

In the annals of Ole Miss football lore
He went where no other Rebel had gone before.

So take a bow Dexter accept the cheers of the crowd
And wouldn’t Johnny Vaught have been so very proud.

Go, Tiger, Go

Tiger Woods is now known as a big time rake
So it follows: what a great President he would make.

As a matter of fact and this is true
He could become Bill Clinton # 2.

I think the point would shortly become moot
That the White House had become one of ill repute.

In the Oval Office he’d know what’s in store
As he sees Monica sneaking in the side door.

And it would surely be tough to beat
A bevy of babes at the Camp David retreat.

And just imagine all the fun
With 2 or 3 more on Air Force One.

So it’s Tiger for President: hip hip hooray
He’d bring our boys home-home to stay.

Memphisport Live: 11.12.09

Andy is upset because he can’t handle the fact that his fantasy football team lost this week to Kevin’s team. Plus, Steve Ehrhart stops in to talk about the Liberty Bowl, the Showboats, and Donald Trump.

Requiem for Tiger Football

Tiger football fans have been known to worry and fret
And say out loud–is it over yet?
The loss at Tennessee was tough to take
A 28 point drubbing for Heaven’s sake.

But chill out you guys- stop this infernal complaining
And remember there just a few games remaining.

And let me make one thing perfectly clear
No one is saying-wait ’til next year.

Whether Tommy returns or not the point is moot
Because really hardly anyone gives a hoot.

So we have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight
And it looks like the Big East got it right.

Tiger Woods

Tiger absolutely knows how to read a green.
And with a driver he’s among the best that’s ever been seen.

But-when it comes to driving his Escalade
There are some changes that should be made.

First of all a fire hydrant is like 2 foot rough
At all costs avoid that awful stuff.

And a warning that isn’t exactly new
Hitting a tree is definitely the wrong thing to do.

And now from all the information that I have read
There is one more thing that needs to be said:

Hey Tiger you just might be off the hook
If you get rid of the bimbos in that little black book.