God is in his Heaven and all is right
You see, Kentucky lost a basketball game tonight.
The Wildcats are the best team money can buy
And they sure enough gave it the old college try.
But they have a fault and West Virginia made it stick
You see Calipari can’t coach, not even a lick.
Kentucky’s 3 point shooting was bad,the Eaton curse
And their free throw shooting was even worse.
Meanwhile West Virginia was really hot wired
They hit their foul shots as time expired.
Fans in Memphis were thrilled,some how they knew
The Coach Cal was about to get his just due.
We’re all glad he lost,it’s an extra perk
Because you see the guy is really a jerk.
Eat your heart out Calipari you’re not the best
But maybe you can get someone else to take the test.
And one more thing Cal,I don’t want this to pass
Next year WE have the #1 recruiting class…
Out in Lawrence they’re still is a state of shock
They thought the game was a dead sure lock.
Surely the Jayhawks had all they’d need;
Plus they were the overall # 1 seed.
And Coach Bill Self always knew just what to do
In a game situation his genius showed through.
But late in this game he took the following approach
Great Scott, John Calipari isn’t the other coach.
No, the northern Iowa coach never lost his cool
And he took the Jayhawks to basketball school.
So Self could out coach Calipari but I gotta feel
In the annals of the game it ain’t no big deal.
Yes, the Kansas Jayhawks title dreams are put on hold
Waiting for a another Calipari team to up and fold.
Meanwhile back in Memphis Josh Pastner is ready,loaded for bear
We’re comin’ after you Kansas so you’d better beware.
The Tigers NCAA appeal has apparently failed
And the University of Memphis is about to get nailed.
Derrick Rose is the problem and it’s a beaut;
A few years ago he was the #1 recruit.
We knew he could play,a blue chip lock
But we didn’t know he was dumb as a rock.
He failed the SAT twice in Chicago so they thought he could fake it
By going to Detroit and have someone else take it.
Someone passed the test but the NCAA knows
That person was not Derrick Rose.
I say Calipari engineered the whole rotten deal
And there are those of us who really feel;
He should be punished with serious jail time
But alas what he did is not a crime.
So Cal and Rose leave town with all the swag
And the Tigers are left holding the bag.
We are now known mainly for breaking a rule
And I guess we’re the #1 outlaw school.
Now that it’s over all I can say to you;
Is grin and bear it-that’s the best we can do..
The University of Kentucky had the absolute gall
To hire the most dishonest coach of all.
Look up-crook-in the dictionary and it would be rare
If you didn’t see John Calipari’s picture there.
The NCAA knows him,that’s for sure
And his reputation is less than simon pure.
His trips to the Final 4 have been a bumpy ride
On both occasions his teams have been disqualified.
Coach Cal accepted disgrace with a wry,slight smile
Hey, even Jesse James got caught once in a while.
So the Wildcats will keep doing business the same old way
The rules are in place for others to obey.
But there is still hope because his critics will brag
Cal can’t coach his way out of a wet paper bag.
With me it’s as plain as the nose on your face
It’s the NCAA or nothing-there’s no second place.
If you win the NIT you can tell all the hicks
Take a good look at us-we’re number sixty six.
So when the Tigers lost to Houston that was it
The season was over, it was time to quit.
Memphis had a great run but came up short
It’s time for the experts to make their report.
But on second thought how about this:
An NIT meeting with the Rebels of Ole Miss.
It would fill FedEx Forum and if we went full force
Maybe we could knock Ole Miss off their high horse.
It would be a classic,a real drawing card
A fight to the finish with no holds barred.
I love it and we’ll all say grace
For the idiot who said there’s no second place.
Some folks in Memphis have become cautious and wary
They think the anti christ may be John Calipari.
If you google-anti christ-it will tell you why
Coach Cal just might be the right guy.
The a/c is devious if he wants something he’ll take it
And if there is a rule in the way-hey-he’ll just break it.
He can be ever so charming and it’s my belief
He could sell General Custer as an Indian chief.
But there is one aspect I hesitate to approach
The anti christ is touted as a great bench coach.
So if you look at his record here’s my call
He may not be the anti christ after all.