Vintage Jack: Ode To A-Rod

Texas shortstop Alex Rodriguez is, as of today,
One of the richest one percent in the USA.

That 252 million really gives me the willies,
Because he’s now worth more than the Philadelphia Phillies,

And if invested at ten percent, I think it’s true,
He could buy most of what is now Peru.

But AL pitchers say, “What the heck,
He can’t hit a baseball with a cashiers check.

And if he comes around with that millionaire’s strut
We’ll pitch high and inside and knock him on his butt.”

So now it’s up to A-Rod to move Heaven and Earth
And make sure the Rangers get their money’s worth.

But worth it or not, whether he’s a bum or a star,
A-Rod has forever raised the salary bar.

Written December 13, 2000

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