Big Jack's Rhymes

Big Jack’s Rhymes: Albert Pujols

The big question in St. Louis so I hear
Is “Where will Albert Pujols be playing next year?”

He’s a free agent and like it or not
To re-sign him will cost the Cardinals a lot.

So how much will it take to keep him on board
Is it more than the ball club can afford?

They’re crunching the numbers and at the end of the day
The experts are saying that right now there is no way.

Albert wants too much and it would seem
If he gets it all he’d bankrupt the team.

I think he’ll leave but I’m telling you
As to where he’ll play: I don’t have a clue.

Cardinals fans are quiet, their lips are sealed
They hope and pray it won’t be Wrigley Field.

 

Image courtesy of  joesportsfanstl.com. Written by Jack Eaton on 11/07/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: A New Broom in Oxford

Anyone with half an eye can plainly see
Ole Miss football ain’t what it used to be.

The Rebels have been losing a lot of late
And today the coach got the gate.

Houston Nutt will coach the rest of the year
Then simply say, “Hey, I’m outta here.”

He won’t leave empty handed of that there’s no doubt
It will cost six million bucks to buy him out.

Pete Boone the AD also drew the Rebels wrath
Sometime next year he will walk down the Primrose path.

So there will be fresh blood in Oxford and that’s just fine
Who will take over, hey, your guess is as good as mine…

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 11/07/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: How to Fix the Tigers, Rebels and Volunteers

The UT Vols have been hit with the SEC’s curse
But the Ole Miss Rebels have it even worse.

The Vols have no conference wins – zip, zero, nada, no doubt.
While Ole Miss likewise has been totally shut out.

The Tigers are so bad they have become a bore
And it has been mentioned they might stop keeping score.

OK, Ole Miss fans would be all smiles
If the Rebels could hire LSU’s Coach Miles.

And Nick Saban would be a perfect fit for Tennessee.
A couple of years down the line and they’d be home scot-free.

But the Tigers are different — how does this sound:
It would take the Almighty Himself to turn them around.

So Tiger fans hang tough and please don’t blow it,
Because basketball will be here before you now it…

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 11/06/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: The Tigers Can’t Lose This Week

The losses are piling up with no end in sight
But this Saturday, by golly, we just might

See that streak come to a screeching halt
And this Tiger fans y’all can take to the vault:

We will not lose-stand up and cheer
It’ll be he best weekend of the year.

Strike the band- let’s all celebrate
You see my friends we have an open date.

On second thought I think that somewhere I read
It’s possible that Open Date might cover the spread.

Yeah our team is bad this we all know
Still let’s hear it once more — Go Tigers Go.

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/30/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: Feelin’ Sorry

As a long time Rebel fan… Great Caesar’s ghost
Auburn just knocked us from pillar to post.

We gave ‘em a game for a while but it didn’t last
And in the second half, we faded away… really fast.

Is it the  coach,the players or maybe a little of each
Blaming the Chancellor may be too much of a reach.

Our football program is so bad,there’s so much we lack
The question among the alumni is- “Can we ever come back.”

The Rebels will come back but not with what’s at hand
Someone has to assert themselves and take a stand.

We need a Johnny Vaught type, a leader if you please
But unfortunately guys like that don’t grow on trees.

But the sooner we begin looking the quicker the start
We will find him and then the alumni will do their part.

Give him what he needs – turn him loose
Show that ‘ol Rebel spirit- plug in the juice.

So come on Rebel fans join with the crowd
Lets make Jake Gibbs and Archie really proud.

Let’s send a message-hear us roar
We’ll be the SEC’s doormat never more…

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/30/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: A Pirates Fan in Cardinal Country

At last the Cardinals can truthfully say
Stand aside we are champions of all we survey.

However as a Pirates fan it’s a pain in the butt
All I can think to say: so freakin’ what!

And when it’s the Cardinals vs Texas I’ll confess
That I care, please believe, a whole lot less.

But this year I did become slightly involved
And I thought about it until the problem was solved.

It concerned Albert Pujols and what would he do
Would he stay in St. Louis or try something new.

I hear he wants 30M to stay… bless my soul
That’s almost the entire Pirates payroll.

He had one great game where he really got hot
But other than he didn’t do diddley squat.

But I think he will leave the Cardinals and strange as it seems
End up with the Red Sox eating those Boston beans.

The BoSox can afford him and I can dream
You see, Boston in my favorite American League team.

So Albert let me make one thing perfectly clear,
Please… oh, please put St. Louis in your rear view mirror.

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/29/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: A Bad Scene

Ole Miss, UT and the U of M it is well understood
Individually and collectively aren’t very good.

The Rebels and Volunteers, golly gee
Are at or near the bottom of the SEC.

And the Memphis Tigers certainly can’t boast
They are the absolute worst from coast to coast.

All three are playing this week and it’s hardly news
That each team is highly favored… to lose.

Arkansas is a 17-point pick over Ole Miss which is about in line.
While Alabama is a lopsided choice over The Vols by… try 29.

Memphis and Tulane will each show their wares
As for the line I can’t find anyone who really cares.

So Rebel,Volunteer and Tiger fans y’all are the same
So please remember — it’s not life or death — it’s just a game.

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/19/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: 45 Point Loss

For Ole Miss football fans it’s a season of discontent
As they wonder where their football went.

And considering the Rebels play it’s not so strange
That a vocal few have been calling for change.

Now a 45 point loss can’t be allowed to pass
And their patience has reached a critical mass.

Since the football program is dead now, their goal
Is for many many heads to roll.

They’ve had it with Coach Nutt, he’s become a bore
And they want him gone-out the door.

Pete Boone doesn’t get away Scott free
They want him hanging from yonder tree. (figuratively speaking)

So the fans have spoken,they’ve had their
And change is coming,it’s on the way.

The odds are short, 10 out of 10
It’s not a matter of if–but when.

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/16/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Photo by JD Meredith. 

Big Jack’s Rhymes: Deja Vu All Over Again

A Tigers football poem, how very neat
How about-another game, another defeat.

East Carolina if you want to know what
Came to town and kicked our butt.

And to add insult to injury it came to a head
When they casually up and covered the spread.

To close it out I’ll just say this
It’s a doggone shame they can’t play Ole Miss.

 

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/16/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.

Big Jack’s Rhymes: Not Again

These East Carolina fans may not be politically correct, but correct nonetheless.

It’s been said that death and taxes are the only sure bets,
But this weekend’s a wager that is as good as it gets.

East Carolina’s in town, they’re lean and mean,
And they are only favored by seventeen.

Seventeen points may sound like a lot,
But for a lousy defense it’s really not.

The Tigers defense sort of comes and goes,
And it’s said they couldn’t stop a runny nose.

So, if the past be the judge, it seems to me,
Memphis will be lit up like a Christmas tree.

The Tigers offense isn’t that tough either,
So, for the visiting Pirates it’ll be a breather.

Seventeen points–hah–don’t even take stock
I’m telling you, Buster, it’s a dead certain lock.

P.S. I admit to you that I’m coming on strong,
And I have been known in the past to be slightly wrong.

So, while I think you are shooting fish in a barrel
Remember placing your bet, you put yourself in peril.

Written by Jack Eaton on 10/11/11. “Big” Jack can be heard every Friday at 8am on KWAM 990 alongside former County Commissioner John Willingham. He was recently inducted into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.